Today I downloaded a program called "Audacity" which allows me to take different audio files and splice them together. What this means for me is that I can now pursue interviews more intently and upon tearing them out of the throats of my victims, can superimpose quotes and clips over a background of music. It took me a good portion of the afternoon to learn how to use the program at all, and at one point I even uninstalled it furiously, thinking that it was defective. It turns out that it was I who was defective, and after reinstalling it (I always save install files) I've now gotten about 45 seconds of monologue over a soundtrack of part of an Aimee Mann song. This is a big accomplishment for someone as computer illiterate as I, and it means that I am one step closer to becoming my idle, Ira Glass (read: locking him in a closet and taking over his wonderful life).

Enough of that, I know why you are all reading this, to discover the answer to your questions about the previous entry. Yes, I did come out to my mom. The conversation, by the standards of any good person, went fine. I told her after using the lead in that I had held off from admitting anything until after she and dad had submitted the final payment of my college tuition. Still, she called me out on it, asking if I had really believed that she would have torn it up upon discovering the truth, and forcing me to relinquish that I had actually been completely terrified regardless of a possible ceasing of cash-flow. She apologized that I had felt forced to suffer that kind of depression for most of my life. She said that she loved me, which I (I'm just as surprised as you all) reciprocated. Then we lapsed into a bout of silence, the uneasiness of which forced me to take Homer and Rose outside to do their thing. Over all it went well correct? One would think, and it's true that it could have gone much worse, but I, terrible person that I am, had been silently asking much more of my poor mother.

I had assumed (hoped) that after finding out, she would feel the need to talk to someone about it, specifically my dad. I had assumed (again, hoped) that this would lead to the rest of the family becoming clued in without any further effort on my part. Telling her had been hard enough as it was, and I have never been one to push myself very hard, especially when there is any kind of discomfort involved. Unfortunately I hadn't counted on my mom remaining silent and glued to the chair where I left her for the rest of the night until she decided to go to bed. Whether it was due to shock, or to her and I sharing a similar proclivity toward not talking about things that are bothering us, or to her wishing to respect my privacy and allowing me to come out at my own pace, it annoyed me by leaving me in the position of having to actually do my job. As you may have guessed by looking back at my track record in procrastination when it comes to any other job I've ever had in my life, I've done absolutely nothing since telling her.

So now, as good as the initial conversation went, mom and I now have an elephant standing between us at all times. Now each of us is waiting to see if the other will tell the rest of the family. What I've effectively done is take my problem, and make it hers. Does that make me a bad person? If it does, it's the most recent thing in a long-ass line.





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It's weird to think that today would be the culmination of my entire week. I've done so much since last Monday. I've seen people, picked peaches, I've drank and almost thrown up from something entirely unrelated to booze. Today I didn't even wake up until 2:30pm and I only did one thing, but it was the most terrifying thing I've ever done.

Tuesday was fun, fun and relaxing. I was in dire need of some time in the tea house and joining me there was Rachel, a regular fixture in all of this summer's stories, but also Jessica and Meg, two close friends whom I missed and was very happy to see. It was the day after I had finished my last PVCC exam and so I was quite ready to caffeinate my brain and talk only of shallow gossip. I can always count on Jessica for fun stories and Meg for clever interjections and they did not disappoint. Unfortunately Rachel was depressed and didn't speak for most of the night. Apparently Meg had gone to her house early and seen her house mate Ceci without makeup and this had been a big deal ...more gossip ...I was on top of the world. Don't worry, everything worked out in the end, though Rachel decided to go home early. After she, and then Jessica left, Meg and I walked down to the Pavilion and sat in the grass. We talked about people from high school and about fears of adulthood, as well as fears of what we would become if we did nothing to allow adulthood to happen to us.

Wednesday was even better. Lindsey drove down from Gainesville, picking Brian up as she drove through Culpeper. They, Lindsey's friend Lucy and I met up with Jessica and Meg at the barn on Carter's Mountain. Jess refuses to "rough it" so she and Meg stayed at the barn (read: shop) while the rest of us forged our way up the hill. I was hell-bent on finding some nectarines. The are truly the perfect fruit. Sadly, they are also masters of subterfuge. After dragging everyone along until Lindsey and Lucy had given up and gone back, and I had almost killed Brian by taking him to the top of the mountain, I gave up. Not even nectarines are worth the death of dear Sunshine. Instead, I picked the fattest peaches I could find. It was fun, I dodged my way around the poison ivy and twisted each peach to take them off their branches. Fact: Peaches are easier to pick than apples, and they have pretty much no blemishes. Weird. After that we met up with everyone at MiCasa for some mexican and drinks. Leaving there, I directed Lindsey to drive us to Penn Park, where we scared away children by climbing on the playground equipment and talking about different genres of internet slash. Lucy gave a reading of her favorite Finding Nemo slash off of her blackberry. You heard me right.

Thursday I met up with Jess, Meg and Rachel at Fellini's For karaoke night. Rachel loves to sing. Also, Catherine Luck joined us. Enough Said.

Saturday was another biggie. Meg picked me up just before 6pm and we went over to Jessica's house to meet up with her, as well as her friends Andrew and Jenn, who were visiting from out of town. After We arrived at Anna's (a pizza place) for dinner, Jarrett joined us. Though he had arrived and ordered late, he still beat me in finishing meals. I had ordered a 12 inch sub and fries and I ate very slowly; everybody beat me. From there we went to the outskirts of town for a few ours of the Albemarle County Fair. It cost a bit more money than I would have liked to pay for something of the exact ratio of corny and creepy that we encountered. Still, we had fun. A few of us rode in a mummy themed ride that was so bad, it wasn't even so bad it was good, it was beyond that. Later we rode inside a big pink dragon that spun around if you moved the wheel in its tummy. It was sort of like the teacup ride and I felt nauseous for a good while afterward. We went up to the county fair prize tents and I found banana peppers the sizes of which were beyond my wildest dreams, as well as rabbits that were the size of medium breed dogs. By the end of the night most of us ended up crashing at Jessica's house where we played with the Wii, drank booze and ate pasta salad.

The next morning Meg drove me home and I went to bed, where I stayed until at least 4pm.

and today I told my mom that I'm gay.









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So rather than simply leaving a comment on Lindsey's post in which she gave examples of emo bands she listened to in high school I decided on this. I present to you all, a post full of songs (because I wasn't really band oriented for the most part) that I listened to in high school. THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.

( Let's Take It Away )
And yes, I realize that all of these make me look super gay, whatever. Peace out.

So on a COMPLETE whim, after going over the same three websites 50 times and walking up and down the stairs until I had become bored enough that the rest of my family started to comment, I've decided that I want to lean to knit. I'm thinking that it'll be easy if I start small, say with a scarf (read: long rectangle).

I have two problems standing in my way:
#1) I have no one to teach me
#2) I don't actually have the necessary materials

I'm hoping to solve the first problem with youtube instructional videos and the second by substituting chopsticks for knitting needles. So, other than the obvious eventuality of stealing money from my parents for needles, does anyone have any advice they could give me?



( Attempt One Is A Failure )
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For those of you who don't know, and I assume that most of you do because of how I sing its praises, I love the radio broadcast, This American Life. Today I was listening to it, via podcast, as I cleaned the windows of my cluttered little room. All of the stories in this particular episode were talking about situations in which someone had a tiny bit of information, and ran with it, as though it made them an expert. An example was given of a woman who's mother would always send her articles about things that were partially hydrogenated. When asked by a friend what partially hydrogenated oil was, she was able to answer that it was oil to which hydrogen had been added to make it solid at room temperature. This much she knew (and now you do too) and was actual fact. From there however, when asked why it was bad for ingestion, something she did not know, she made up a theory and ran with it about how the hydrogen was unstable and combines with oxygen in the body to create excess water. I think we've all been there. Doing stuff like this is honestly how I spent my entire childhood. I looked like a fucking genius.

My favorite story was a reading by Dan Savage from one of his books. His catholic mother and republican, retired cop father had been hinting (overtly) that they wanted he and his partner Terry to get married. Oddly enough, it was his adopted son, raised by two gay men, who was completely against the marriage. Apparently, through preschool-playground logic, the kid had decided that marriage was specifically for men to be joined with women. A girl on his playground who's parents were going through a divorce because they "no longer loved each other" had jumped to the conclusion that you were not allowed to be married if you were not in love. Upon hearing this from her, Dan's son, who had only ever heard of love as something that girls talked about and used against boys in games of tag, jumped to the conclusion that Dan and Terry could not be in love, because neither was a girl, and thus could not marry. During the climax of the story, their son sits up all night with an earache and Dan sits with him, talking about love, trying to choose the best wording that he can. In the end the kid realized that regardless of what he thought he knew about marriage, he did know that he loved both Dan and Terry and wanted them to be his parents forever. He concluded that he wanted them to be together forever and to this end told Dan that he and Terry should get married.

I forget the name of the book that this was from though I'm fairly sure that I remember hearing that his son was 6 at the time the story took place. Regardless, I found the story to be adorable and endearing. Wanting more, I looked up Dan's podcast "Savage Love." It was not exactly what I was looking for, though not altogether bad either. It's more like what you'd get if you crossed a newspaper advice columnist with Sue Johanson. He receives calls about relationship problems that people are having, then dishes out very blunt, slightly vulgar (depending on how squeamish you are about sex, which I am rather) words of advice. Of the edition that I listened to, there were about five callers. One was from a guy who's girlfriend was asking him to move to the city of his nightmares and another was from a submissive woman who had lost her faith in the S&M scene. The final caller was a black, 16 year old gay kid who lived in Tennessee. He was asking Dan to tell him how to find love in a town and high school full of hicks. The advice he received was more along the lines of giving up on that for now and focusing on getting into college and getting the hell out of there. It was good advice.

It was honestly the plan I had for myself during my high school years. To those ends I did everything right. I knew that I had to stay in state, but inside that I picked the one school that I knew that no one from Covenant was going to. I geared myself up for reinvention amidst a group of people who knew nothing about me. Why then, during orientation week did I give up on my goal by introducing myself as straight? I was very frustrated with myself, but not enough to overcome myself and do anything about it.

Over the last year I have finally been coming out to good friends, but I still have an unnecessary uneasiness about it. I'm still overly cautious. Even though I've now dated a guy or two. Thank god I've been lucky enough to find guys who think it more cute than annoying that I'm still mostly in the closet. Even though I've introduced them to my parents as friends and roommates. I have no idea if I'm ever going to come out to my family. As Anna Sullivan knows, my original plan was to come out to them just as my parents had finished paying off my college expenses. It was my devious hope that they would blow up about it and I would have an excuse to never bother myself with keeping in contact with them.

Yeah, I know, it's evil. I've honestly never been close to my family and have no wish to start. Having said that however, the last Mary Washington bill has been sent off to Mom and will be paid in a matter of days. This should be the time to bring closure to my plan. Why is it then that, while standing today in front of the sink while doing dishes, as I thought of the imminent possibility of telling them, did I suddenly feel so afraid that I literally couldn't move? Is it because I secretly do care? I hope not. What does it mean then? Am I doomed to always be this afraid of telling everyone I ever meet?

It really shouldn't be this big a deal, especially when I'm using it for my own gain. I live for my own gain!







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Can't believe I'm doing this one, didn't realize I was that bored. Anyway, double locked because well, most of them are guys.

1) (though the first one isn't) Leeloo from the 5th element (what can I say, she's perfect)

2) Corban Dallas from the 5th element (can I just go ahead and say Brucie Willis to make this list shorter? I even had a jones for him when he was drooling him way through a mad house in 12 Monkeys)

3) Gilbert Grape from What's Eating Gilbert Grape (though not Johnny Depp in anything else)

4) William Miller from Almost Famous (please forgive me for this one, I know he's like 16)

5) Penny Lane from Almost Famous (I feel a little better about this one, I'm pretty sure she was at least 18)

6) Hellboy (don't judge, he's adorable when he gets nervous over a crush)

7) Marshall Hogan from This Present Darkness (though by the end of the book he had turned conservative Christian so he totally wouldn't be into it)

8) Hank from Some Place To Be Flying (wish I could remember his last name)

9) Michael Curry from The Witching Hour (Actually I'd do most of the people in that book. They'd probably be up for it too since they're all such sluts)

10) Destruction (I would say Death, but even in fantasy she's too good for me)




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Didn't get anything accomplished this last week in terms or my two month plan. Oh well, at least the weekend was fun. Yay for bottle-rockets!




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I can't really write an update about my (hopefully) ongoing plan because I honestly did nothing in the last seven days to further it. I can't even say that I kept up with summer school classes because I skipped all of Thursday. The only thing that might qualify is that Thursday through Sunday could all be said to have gone toward improving my overall wellbeing. Hell, anything that gets me out of the house could be said to serve that purpose but this weekend was especially enjoyable. Both Brian and I skipped our Thursday classes (though he actually may have gone to one, not sure) and he drove to Charlottesville. There was a slightly rocky start to the day when he called me to say that he was in my driveway only to receive the groggily given answer that I was still in bed and needed to pack and ...get pants on. My mom bitched at me for a while for that one. As I told Brian later that day, pretty much everyone I've dated before has gotten that surprised and embarrassed reply at one point or another. Ashleigh got it pretty much every week.

We spent some time downtown looking for a gift for his dad's birthday. Downtown Charlottesville is actually a fairly good place to go if you're looking to do a little random gifting. The present Sunshine finally settled on was a laughing Buddha mask made out of Indonesian wood (something similar to teak) that we found in the more affordable of the two (or three) Asian antique places on the main mall. We followed that up with almost an hour in the tea house talking about miscellaneous bits of our lives over a pot of "golden monkey" (I think that's the type we had). Just as our parking meeter wound down to the six minute mark, we started the drive back to his house in Culpeper.

The weekend was pretty much everything I've been looking forward to for the last month and then some. There was a swimming pool, there was sunshine, there was Sunshine, there was one of those giant trampolines that I've always wanted since I saw one once in Sam's Club when I was 10. If you ever get the chance, get one of those trampolines, you'll never regret it. I even got to see a bunch of people that I love from school at Alyssa's house on Saturday. Brian and I met up with G-Chris, Anna Snyder and a friend of hers who I think was named Kristen so that we could all watch the season finale of Doctor Who. I've never followed that show closely but the episodes we watched that night were pretty intense. Alyssa fed us delicious foods and two of the three girls dearest to my heart even made an appearance, Lindsey and Anna! (I miss you Megan) If only Michelle could have joined us, the night would have been complete. To Michelle: me and Brian got you a great, albeit late, birthday gift.

The weekend was truly spectacular. The Thalers were all wonderful and are now some of my favorite people. The only thing which now weighs heavy on my mind is something that, at the time, seemed light and fun. The first day that I was there, Brian and I were floating around his swimming pool when we started to form loose plans for ourselves for after we graduate. It was not specifically what we were saying that is now giving me pause as it digs its fingers into my brain but rather the fact that we were saying it, and all so lightly. It's still true now as it was on Thursday that, if Brian and I are still together come next may, I would love to get an apartment with him (Oh and yes, we were thinking about roommates. If you were one of the people we thought of, we'll be letting you know eventually) in Fredericksburg. Heck, if we are together long enough, I'd be willing to move somewhere completely new with him. I happen to know that he wants to end up in LA eventually so I'll have to put aside my reservations about the state of California. Thinking about all of this though, however light the conversation or train of though was intended, forces me to start thinking about allot of stuff I had hoped never to have to consider.

Will I be able to hold myself together and make this relationship last longer than my last few? My one high school relationship was a long one and only ended because of some heavy circumstances and emotions. All of the ones I've had in college however have lasted no more than a month or so (at the longest). For some reason I've just not been able to gather up enough emotion (read in some cases: interest) to make them last. Granted this one does feel different and has indeed lasted longer, but what if that is only because we've been apart for most of it? What happens if we get closer and then I suddenly lose interest? I don't want to be that jerk this time, not to him (sorry to others I've dated who may be reading this).

Will I be able to get over my hang-ups about marriage? It's legal in California. Will I be able to get over my hang-ups about children? Something tells me that I won't, though I know he wants them.

To Brian: Sorry I voiced this stuff over Lj before discussing it with you. I just realized that if I didn't get it all out right this moment, I never would. I really did have an amazing time at your house and I do miss you. I didn't say any of this stuff to alarm you, just to mention it out loud so that I can start working on it. I want this to work.

So yeah, I'm getting a complete kick out of this thing. Below is a notecard which had originally held Jenny's address and phone number from when I visited her some weeks ago. For the last while I've been using it as a bookmark. Now, I've labeled it so.


"So yeah, this is a bookmark now..."

I had to fight my way through piles of basement junk, as well as a throng of spiders, but I found what I was looking for. Year ago, maybe as far back as my seventh grade year, my mom bought an old typewriter at a yard sale. For a little while my brothers and I found amusement in punching down as many keys as we could to see how many we could get stuck up near the dry ink ribbon before they all fell again. We lost interest after a few days and became an addition to the basement pile in the den. Sometime during my high school years mom went out and got the keys fixed as well as buying the machine a new ink ribbon. We now were even more loath to mess with it because we had no wish to actually use it, and playing with it would get us covered in black ink.

Earlier, with a newfound desire to put it to use, I wrestled it out of the den's clutches. IT WAS FUCKING HEAVY. Here is a picture:
( click to see typewriter )

After cleaning off the cobwebs and shining the keys, I decided to try typing something. While typing, I realized a few things. The first is that I'm a horrible typist (I already knew that I was a horrible speller). The second is that, even if I learned how to use all of the weird knobs and switches, this machine has no practical use for me. It's fun, I'll give it that, but I need something with spell check and if I ever want to share any of what I write on it, I'll need to use a scanner. For example, this is what I wrote during my inaugural attempt at typewriting.
( click, my good friends )

Yes, it was fun. I just don't know how much I will really end up using it. However, to preempt those who would ask for it I will now add that my mom would not sell this for any amount of money.






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So, this is the first update on my two-month plan. I'll state my progress (or lack there of) in each area, then summarize/theorize.

Tarot

Thankfully the book I'm using to re-learn how to read teaches in a 21 day process. This means that though I may have done absolutely nothing in this all week, there is still time. I did take a bit of time about halfway through the week to re-familiarize myself with the cards, but that was the extent of my efforts.

Diet and Exercise

I walked for an hour on the first day, then an hour and a half on Wednesday. I didn't walk at all on Thursday but then walked an hour and a half on Friday through Sunday. I didn't walk yesterday because my class went from 6 to 10pm, but I'm going to try on future Mondays to walk from 3 to 4:30pm. A few of you may have gotten calls from me while I was walking cause it gets kind of boring. If you get on in the future, just answer it and bear with me, being happy for the chance to hear my lovely voice.
As for diet, I was very proud of myself for the first few days. During this time I really restricted myself to salads topped with tuna while I was home and to (simple) turkey wraps while I was at school. Over the second half of the week I cracked sadly and ate like, half a bag of jumbo-sized marshmallows a day. Seriously, how the fuck were there so many in one bag?!? I mean it when I say half a bag each day! Where the fucking hell was it refilling itself from?!?!?!?
Anyway, it wasn't just the marshmallows. I didn't do as well the second half of the week at stopping myself when I knew I should stop. I didn't lose any weight over the course of the last seven days, but I didn't gain any either so I guess that's a plus.

Summer School

I took a test in World Religions last Monday. The test before this was an 87% which is not bad, but I told my parents that I didn't do better because I had a fever when I took it(technically true) rather than the truth which was that I hadn't studied in the slightest. This last week's test which I got back yesterday was a 95% (I studied nominally for it).
I still need to get started on my World Religion final paper. It's due two weeks from yesterday and any good test grades will be negated if I fail to turn it in on time. As for my other two classes, I need to get my act together or their respective exams will kill me. We have no exams in either class until the end so I have little idea as to how I'm doing.

Fall Semester

No progress in this area yet. Since there is still some time I'm not too worried yet. If it gets to be a month and I haven't picked up any book for my Symbolic class, I'll start to worry.

Positive Energy

I am so proud of my banana pepper plant! He (or she) has at least six peppers growing at one time! As for the first one that I picked, I think it may have in fact gone bad in the oil I tried to preserve it in which is kinda sad. What this means is that I'll have to eat the peppers as I pick them. If I want to have new peppers during the school year, I'm going to have to get a large pot and grow a new plant in the apartment (which I'm actually strongly considering).
As for non-plant stuff, I finished reading "This Present Darkness" and though it was pretty good. It was exciting, I'll give it that. I'm not sure how much I liked the fact that it stongly reminded me, in tone, of "Reefer Madness," but I'm willing to let that slide. I think next I'll try to finish "Reaper Man" which I started during the school year but then had to put down when things for class got too hectic.

Synopsis

Progress was not made in all areas while in a few progress was made, then negated. I think that what is going to end up being the norm is that some weeks will see different emphases then others. Hopefully by the end of the two months, each area will have gotten its due attention.





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ever since radioblogclub went down just after new years, I've been looking for a way to embed songs into my journal entries. This is just a test to see if I've found a way that works.





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Well, I'm just a little over halfway through the first week of my plan. As we wait for me to update you all on my progress this Monday, here's Frank Zappa to teach us about the music industry and safe sex. In both cases, don't let the germs get on you.

Twelve a.m. has come and gone and that means that it is now in the fledgling hours of June 24th, 2008. THIS IS IMPORTANT. Well, I'm making it important. exactly two months from now on August 24th I will be moving into apt. 831 over on William Street in Fredericksburg. Since I've realized this in time, I've decided to use it to set a few summer goals for myself. We now get to all see if Chris can carry anything on for two full months. As much as it pains me to admit to anyone that I am trying to better myself, I will use this journal, once a week, to document how far I've gotten in each area.

I've made the list and checked it twice.

Tarot

So last summer I received a pack from a friend. It's a beautiful pack and I love it dearly. I loved it to the point where I actually kept up with my studying. As some of you may remember, I was constantly practicing on friends.
Unfortunately, once the school year came I put them aside and have since never picked the cards back up and remember absolutely nothing. It is one of my many little dreams to be proficient at reading, and so to that end I'm going to begin again from square one. I'm going to use the same book that I did last summer. The text was extremely informative and even had a section where it outlined a 21 day plan for learning the entire deck. Hopefully I will end the two month session knowing the cards back and forth, considering I have the time to do the entire process two times over and I have done it (almost completely) once in the past.

Diet and Exercise

This one is hard for me even to talk about. One of my favorite things to have people believe of me is that I don't care at all what I look like. What this has accomplished is the breeding of a very out-of-shape Chris. There was never, in fact, a time when I was ever in shape but at least throughout grade school I was out of shape and thin. I have just recently reached the point where I am just slightly overweight for my hight (easy to do when I am only 5'8"). As I said before, I would love to say that this doesn't concern me in the slightest but I now really do have reason to care. I want to look good for Sunshine. There, I said it. Now lets all forget that I felt the need to dive, if only for a moment, into the realm of the irredeemably sappy.
To look for advice and encouragement on this front, I looked to youtube. In case you've never noticed, youtube is literally filled to the brim with video diaries of people trying to get in shape. While some of them drop off the map after one or two updates, a good many of them actually go on and achieve their goals. There was this one guy in Seattle who, just through small dietary changes and forcing himself to walk for an hour and a half each day, lost 30 lbs in one month. I could do that, the walking anyway. Even on the days when I have classes there is a three hour block of time when I could walk the (rather beautiful) lands around the community college.
As for the dieting, it's been rather hard to do since I've been home. Today I was very proud of myself because all I had for brunch was a salad of iceberg lettuce, diced tomato, shredded tuna and a splash of vinegar for flavor. This was at the same time as my brother Colin was making bacon right beside me. For dinner I had a turkey wrap with no mayo and a bit of lettuce during the break I have in my four hour class. Sadly, I can't pull this off every day. Soon the lettuce and tomato is going to run out and dad will replace them with something less healthy (they only bought that stuff to make BLTs last night). They are going to start to get suspicious if I begin to skip the heavy family dinners for something lighter. This would all be much easier if I could tell them that I want to go on a diet. THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. I'm having a hard enough time telling all of you.

Summer School

This is something that I only have to worry about for one more month. My last exam is in world religions on the 28th of July. Until then however, I have to make sure I actually do all of the readings and study for all of the remaining tests, something I haven't been doing so far. I also have to make sure that I keep up with my final paper in world religions. It's a biggie.

Fall Semester

I'm making only a very light goal for this one. I accidentally bought all of the "Symbolic Anthropology" course materials last year. It's my goal to read at least one of them by the time I start the class in the fall. I'm already part way through Culture and Communication by Edmund Leach.

Building Positive Energy

Don't laugh at this one; I'm serious. This is a goal mainly geared toward dragging myself out of the depression that I talked about in the last few posts (for those of you who can read them). It's made up of things such as keeping up my budding postcard hobby, taking care of my pepper plant, cleaning and re-ordering my room (something I've been doing quite a bit in the last few days) and going out with friends without feeling claustrophobic amongst other Charlottesville residents. I'm hoping that by doing these little things, I'll raise my energy levels and be a more upbeat and positive person.



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